Late evenings and Bright mornings

I miss sleeping like a normal person. I'm awake at three am and I can't sleep because its day time in my world and my mind is running a thousand miles an hour. Once again my life is changing and I sometimes dont know what to do with my self. I can't help but think that I'm doing something wrong. I guess in order to get things off my chest I want to take time and write a few things here. I was told to list about the good things about myself and then make a list of the things I wanted to fix. I dont need to put this out there but I doubt anyone is reading this and I guess it will be a reality check if someone does. Here goes nothing

Good things:
I can cook like a beast
Baking is one of my strong suits
I love people
I mother my friends because I love them
I'm funny
I can take a joke
I have a good work ethic
I'm driven
I AM a great mixing engineer
I'm friendly and out going
I'm starting to be confident singer

Fixer up List:
I once was a confident person, I am not.
Looks: For me NOT to get a man
Music
Grades
new job
figuring out life after graduation
not babying my friends
thinking about things that are important and not blowing them off (mostly my family)

I'm sure these lists will grow and change. ugh new beginnings.

Erin

wrong assumptions

Sometimes I wonder i I give people to much credit. In the past for years all I can think is people suck. I guess that is part of life but maybe people should... well grow up. At the age of 21, yes we are still able to have fun and be in school but we want to be treated like  adults, yet most of us don't act like it. Our generation tends to be selfish and self-centered. I fall in to this at times, and no I dont say all this because I think I'm perfect but I do say this because it saddens me. Some say most of us will grow up and realize that we are selfish beings and we, well, suck.

unseen beauty

I find that some of the most beautiful things in the world are flawed. I can't put a finger on it but I find them better then a perfect creation. People can be made perfect in todays world and I'm happy to find a few beautifully imperfect people. I can't help the way I feel.

I see you for you. You may never see this unless i let you. People act differently around you because of your imperfections, I barely see them. I know you aren't defined by what you are but who you are. I'm blessed to know you. I can barely think of you without being happy. I dont know what to say sometimes, and I'm not one to be at a loss for words. You turned my world on it's side. I didn't plan on you changing me like this. I don't know what the future holds I just know I want you to be in it, even if its just as my best friend.

unknown realizations

I have been thinking about the future and it's frightening. I was talking to a friend of mine and he just graduated and he is working at minimum wage job. In a year and 6 months I will be graduating. I'm so excited, and yet scared out of my mind. I have taken out loans this year and I will be next year and soon after graduation all of us have to start paying them back. I'm scared mostly because i have heard that it's hard to get a job in my field. I want to be able to get a decent job and not be totally poor and have to live with my parents. I know that is what everyone wants but still. I'm sure everyone is feeling the same but I had to but it out there.